Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Soldier and the Teke

A soldier serving in Iraq sent the following note to Laszlo Varju, a young man who, in addition to serving as the president of the Loyola College Republicans, has what it takes to be a Teke.

From: [redacted]
To: [Laszlo Varju]
Subject: Hello!

Hi. I'm sitting in an internet room at an MWR facility in Iraq. I just read an article about Ann Coulter showing up to your school.

I'm sure you feel real good about yourself, helping beat up (or at least having your followers beat up) dissenters at the whims of an anorexic blond. I'm sure you don't feel the least bit pussy-whipped for having her question your manhood when you first refused.

That is why I'm glad that pussies like you aren't in my Army. While you're too busy parading for a war that you don't have the balls to sign up for, my Democratic ass is over here dealing with insurgents on a regular basis.

But don't worry, even though your balls aren't big enough to enlist and help to protect America, I can assure you that mine are. I hope you enjoy your college life. Some of us were too busy fighting a war to join you at Loyola.

[Soldier's name redacted]

30 Comments:

At 02 May, 2006 02:22, Anonymous paul said...

I'm still struck by the care and effort Laszlo put into his FaceBook image. No simple headshot for him. No, he went with Complete Patriot Package: the close-cropped hair, the penetrating gaze as if he can see the enemy off-camera, all over a red, white, and blue backdrop and the words "Never Forget."

Never forget what? To moisturize? To lift the seat?

These losers must think they're playing RISK: no one could be this simple-minded.

 
At 02 May, 2006 03:08, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear anonymous soldier,

How do your brothers in arms feel about your wonderful comments?

I'm sure they love how you feed the left with your lines of crap just to get attention. Just to be sure, where are you stationed? What unit? I have some buddies over there that I'm sure would like to speak with you.

 
At 02 May, 2006 03:13, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OOOOOH, THREATS!

republicans are such pussies.

 
At 02 May, 2006 03:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have some buddies over there that I'm sure would like to speak with you.

Of course your pussy ass isn't there with them. Show how little you actually know about Soldiers.

 
At 02 May, 2006 04:54, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a rightwinger for you...always threatening to have others do their dirty work for them.

 
At 02 May, 2006 07:26, Blogger Goethechosemercy said...

Well think about the wonderful model of responsibility they have in GW Bush. Gosh that's just the template of honor there.

 
At 02 May, 2006 07:53, Anonymous Jeff said...

Hey anonymous. Not you, the other anonymous. Let me get this straight. You feel your buddies would want to fight a fellow soldier because he berated a tough-talkin', war-mongerin' college republican who prefers his fights by proxy? That's perfect. Laszlo Varju is not adverse to blood on the street as long as its not his. Thanks for playing along....

 
At 02 May, 2006 09:42, Blogger Nick said...

looks like i found a 2006 douchebag of the year candidate.

 
At 02 May, 2006 09:44, Blogger Nick said...

and im talking about Laszlo, not the soldier who wrote the letter.

 
At 02 May, 2006 10:22, Blogger Carl said...

That picture of Lazlo. It looks like something the Soviet Union would publish honoring a Hero of the State for building his 1,000th tractor...

 
At 02 May, 2006 10:40, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These little College Republican pukes make me sick. Put our money where your mouth is turds. The recruiters are waiting. Coulter at least has the excuse of being insane. Anyone who believes people are in Iraq fighting for the greater glory of BushCo has never been in the military or in combat. You fight to stay alive and for each other. Once the rounds start coming down range nothing else matters.
USMC 1977-1990
Wounded in Beirut, medically discharged.

 
At 02 May, 2006 11:18, Blogger Jeffersonian Liberal said...

why are we assuming that the two letters blocked by his massive cranium are "O" and "R"....they could just as easily be "A" and "G"

 
At 02 May, 2006 14:15, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's funny, I have been over there- have you?

 
At 02 May, 2006 15:08, Blogger Sadie Baker said...

I thought the backdrop said "Never Enlist?" You know, the College Republican motto?

 
At 02 May, 2006 15:55, Blogger Mighty Kamoomoo said...

I'd like everyone to join me in taking a baseball bat to the heads of all these college Republican chicken hawks. The only good Republican chicken hawk, is a dead Republican chicken hawk. Remember, support the troops, pay your taxes.

 
At 02 May, 2006 23:25, Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Nother incoherant "riot starter" to ignore...

-------->>Mighty Kamoomoo said...BLAHBLAHBLAHHH <<-----------

After YOU big mann, HEIL!

 
At 04 May, 2006 04:31, Blogger Mighty Kamoomoo said...

What's incoherent (spelled correctly) about my post? I'm just using the same language that most white, straight, and male Republicans use. Maybe anonymous isn't sophisticated enough to comprehend irony. I'm not into riots I like organized insurrections.

 
At 04 May, 2006 18:53, Anonymous H. Montague Worthington said...

George W. Bush is doing God's work. He is working on ending poverty in America by doing something that none of the pointy-headed liberals ever thought of-- killing the poor people.

By sending the military into a hellish terrorist shooting gallery, he's killing people in the military-- who also tend to be browner and poorer than the country as a whole.

So in essence, the Yellow Elephant College Republicans are working on ending poverty.

 
At 04 May, 2006 23:28, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone with the capability to do so should request to be Lazlo's facebook friend and leave messages on his wall about how much of a nut he is. Ask him how that soldier mail is and how it feels to be famous.

Most importantly, ask him how it feels to be a tool.

A Loyola student.

 
At 05 May, 2006 10:40, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 100% percent sure that this jagoff will support this bullshit war with all his heart........just as long as HE doesn't have to go fight it.

 
At 05 May, 2006 10:42, Anonymous Anonymous said...

His facebook photo looks just like something the ol' Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels himself, would come up with.

 
At 05 May, 2006 13:22, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe that's the leftover commie in him. He was born in Hungary, behind the Iron Curtain, and apparently if you call him a commie he gets all up in arms and flips out. Even the college republicans don't like him because he's too nuts in the head. HEY LAZLO, IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOU'RE A COMMIE! A COMMIE!

Oh, and he's changed his facebook picture away from the propaganda picture (good move saving it to a new server so that all can enjoy it). Maybe if we make fun of his politics he'll cave under the pressure and grow a brain.

 
At 05 May, 2006 13:55, Anonymous Anonymous said...

his facebook:
Political Views: Very Conservative

Activities: President of College Republicans and I love every second of it, Campus Consultant, Assistant Manager at O'Hare Hilton Clothes Hanger Boutique (my mom's shop), smartass, being the object of liberal affection

Interests: College Republicans, laughing my ass off as liberal blogs start frothing at my name, being better and more productive than liberals even while I crap, huge movie buff, guns, antique weaponry, fishing, contemporary fiction

Favorite Music: Country, 80s Rock, Frank Sinatra, INXS, Motley Crue, Moby, Joe Cocker, AEROSMITH, but not hip-hop these days. If you need a club beat I guess it's fine but dumbshits like 50 cent need to go the way of the dodo and fast. I don't care how many bitches and hos he has and how many ballaz he's capped or how he doesn't pay child-support. Nope. Don't give two shits. Any kind of retard that holds a gun sideways deserves to have it backfire into his testes. On that note I also don't give a rat's ass what Bono or Kanye West have to say about ANYTHING. They exist to entertain me. It is what they are paid for. They need to shut up and belt out a tune already. I'll listen to talk radio for politics and starvin chilren in Africa thank you very much. Musicians are another group of absolute retards who think just cuz they can go WHOOOO-HOOO they are the pulse of global philosophy. Makes me wanna puke in my soup.

About Me:
Doing my damned-est to be useful to the glorious right wing conspiracy. That and I like watching libs pee themselves when I go real close and whisper "boo" - you gotta try it sometime, it's a riot.

I spend day in and day out figuring out and pursuing what is really important in my life. That is my singular goal and obsession.

Oh and I dig long walks on the beach. That and fluffy stuff - but not the polyester kind. That stuff's not fluffy, just abrasive.



I also wanted to add that he is known to frequent a bar that I bunch of 18 year old skanks with fake IDs go to. That's is how desperate and lame he is. He's single in a school that is 70% girls...so I guess we should give him his little College Republican power, because DAMN he is just pathetic!!!

 
At 05 May, 2006 14:03, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm the Soldier who wrote the email. First of all, let me apologize for the bad grammar. I should have said "Some of us ARE too busy fighting a war to join you at Lazlo." Even Soldiers care about their grammar.

Anyway, thanks to all of the commenters who supported me. Your words of encouragement are greatly appreciated, and I hope you will continue to write and petition Congress to either get us out of this shithole, or give us what we need to secure the country.

And to the anonymous guy who said he wanted to know where I was stationed, I just want you to know that I'm not giving that info out on the internet, you fucking retard! For the record, my brothers in arms think I'm fucking hilarious, and I never bash any of them for their political inclinations (although I do debate them). My problem is with assholes like you who support the war but are too big a pussy to fight in it yourself. Then you turn a blind eye when conservatives deny us the equipment, armor, and manpower needed to accomplish the mission! When's the last time you helped a homeless Iraq vet? There's over 500 of us! When is the last time you did a goddamn thing for them!

America is the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. You are not brave at all. And since you support things like the Patriot Act and Lazlo's cowardly attacks on dissenters, you have no desire to be free, either. Get the fuck out of my country.

 
At 05 May, 2006 18:36, Blogger Loonie said...

Good heavens, what a simpering poltroon. That is a sure contender for the most hilarious and dumb picture to ever have been projected onto my retinas.

 
At 06 May, 2006 01:21, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is is AIM: ZeroSolid

 
At 12 May, 2006 03:02, Anonymous Anonymous said...

At one point this tool had the audacity to photoshop his face onto the body of a decorated soldier standing next to donald rumsfeld ... wow is all I had to say when I saw that

His favorite books section on his facebook: Alexandre Dumas (the only residual reason France should not yet be nuked), Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Ben Stein, Star Parker, Newt Gingrich, Bernard Goldberg, Bill O'Relly, Macchiavelli


I think he only acts like this much of a moron, because nobody could possibly be this stupid. He must do it for the attention or something.

And if he really is this stupid I think I may have to transfer schools, because I thought they only accepted students if they were at least somewhat intelligent.

 
At 13 May, 2006 20:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This guy's such a f***ing tool--no wonder he's in TKE

 
At 07 July, 2006 18:19, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being a Teke from that chapter I can confirm that yes this young man is a total tool. No one in our chapter likes him. He almost dropped out for that reason. Seriously this guy has no what so ever (he only hangs out with his college republican buddies). I personally wish he wasn't associated with my fraternity. He definitely is the kind of pussy thats pro war, but would never step foot on any sort of battlefield (unless that battle was played on a video-game).

On a more serious note you can't blame a whole bunch of tekes for one bad egg. A good deal of us really don't like this guy and find his conduct and what he stands for to be repulsive. He's really an embarrassment to our group. Basically, Lazlo is our red headed step child we all hate and try to keep hidden from the world.

 
At 07 July, 2006 18:23, Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. I was trying to say....Seriously this guy has no friends what so ever (he only hangs out with his college republican buddies). (a lack of editing kills me).

 

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