The Soldier and the Teke
A soldier serving in Iraq sent the following note to Laszlo Varju, a young man who, in addition to serving as the president of the Loyola College Republicans, has what it takes to be a Teke.
To: [Laszlo Varju]
Hi. I'm sitting in an internet room at an MWR facility in Iraq. I just read an article about Ann Coulter showing up to your school.
I'm sure you feel real good about yourself, helping beat up (or at least having your followers beat up) dissenters at the whims of an anorexic blond. I'm sure you don't feel the least bit pussy-whipped for having her question your manhood when you first refused.
That is why I'm glad that pussies like you aren't in my Army. While you're too busy parading for a war that you don't have the balls to sign up for, my Democratic ass is over here dealing with insurgents on a regular basis.
But don't worry, even though your balls aren't big enough to enlist and help to protect America, I can assure you that mine are. I hope you enjoy your college life. Some of us were too busy fighting a war to join you at Loyola.
[Soldier's name redacted]