Friday, August 19, 2005

She loves the smell of blood in the morning

Michelle Malkin
Concentration Camp Enthusiast

Dear Mrs. Malkin,

Being a conservative Christian, I'm usually opposed to women leaving the home, but you're different from other women. Like Joan of Arc, you have the spirit of a warrior. You tore into that gold star mother, Cindy Sheehan, like a freeper at an all-you-can-eat Twinky buffet. You're passionately vicious. I like that in a public figure. It's why I vote Republican.

As much as I enjoy seeing you eviscerate grieving mothers, I think your viciousness could be applied more effectively. Your unwavering support for the war and your fierce hatred of brown people combine to make you the perfect candidate for service in Iraq. At 35, you're still eligible for duty, and your husband, like thousands of other fathers across the nation, could take care of the kids while you bring freedom to the undeserving idolators of Mosul and Tikrit.

I can almost see you know, covered in blood, feasting on the livers of your enemies, and I don't even want to think about what you'd do to the insurgents.

We need you in Iraq. Please answer your nation's call.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Note to readers: We need your help fighting the war with letters and faxes.

A helmet tip to reader stevenyc.


At 19 August, 2005 02:19, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fighting the war with letters and faxes what a bunch of cowardly pussies GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND DO SOMETHING YOU LAZY MOTHERFUCKERS

At 19 August, 2005 02:47, Blogger Gen. JC Christian, Patriot said...

I have other priorities.

At 19 August, 2005 09:34, Blogger SpinDentist said...

Wow, a troll!

There's a flaw here, General. Michelle would surely get assigned to interrogation work because of the viciousness she's shown. Wait, that's not a flaw, is it? We always need new torturers, as for some stupid reason they end up getting sent to jail.

Michelle, go get them!

At 19 August, 2005 10:25, Blogger Vaughn D. Taylor said...


I can see this guy now ... violently slamming the caps lock key as he sits on his ass doing nothing in his dank basement lair. He slowly reaches for his Big Gulp and feels a pain shooting up his left arm. He grabs his clammy chest, and dies silently in a pair of sweatpants and a stained T-shirt. Camera pans skyward, and CUT!

At 19 August, 2005 10:34, Blogger Vaughn D. Taylor said...

Is it me, or does Malkin look like a muppet in this picture?

At 19 August, 2005 11:26, Blogger Blogenfreude said...

The general has other priorities, and I feel a pilodinal cyst coming on ...

At 19 August, 2005 11:48, Blogger Vaughn D. Taylor said...

"I feel a pilodinal cyst coming on"

I prefer to call it a disgusting wad of ass hair.

At 19 August, 2005 12:00, Blogger Carnacki said...

General sir,

Captain Carnacki is proud to report he enlisted his 4-year-old daughter in the noble cause of Operation Yellow Elephant.

Click here
and search: Carnacki.

Thank you, sir.

At 19 August, 2005 15:24, Blogger Mazzy said...

Hahaha...this blog does not allow anonymous comments.

Glad to see you chaps are finally taking a step to address the Augustine trolls.

At 19 August, 2005 17:38, Blogger SID Tune said...

You guys fighting the war with letters and faxes is as pathetic as the republicans fighting it with yellow 'Support Our Troops' stickers!

At 19 August, 2005 17:42, Blogger Blogenfreude said...

Sid - PAY ATTENTION. We're attempting to fight this war by sending SOLDIERS. By the way, doing anything for the next 24-48 months?

At 19 August, 2005 19:05, Blogger SID Tune said...

I'm sorry, I had forgotten about OYE's massive sucsess in enlisting republicans!

Oh Wait!

At 19 August, 2005 19:20, Blogger Blogenfreude said...

Sid, we're doing what we can, and so should you. But answer the question please - care to spend some time defending us from the terrorists in a warm, dry climate?


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