Thursday, August 25, 2005

Montgomery County PA Young Republicans

I just stumbled across their site, and thought I'd let you all know about the officers. Certainly their bios show them worthy of recruitment to help out in Operation Fetid Quagmire, or whatever Preznit is calling it nowadays.

First up, Sarah Holcome, a real looker who works with Senator Rick Santorum (R-Canine) in the Philadelphia office. She's the Chairman, and as such probably has more balls than the rest of the lot. Please feel free to congratulate her on her leadership position, and encourage her to do some "walking point" in Fallujah by emailing her: sara@montcoyr.org

Next is James C. Saring, and among his accomplishments is being named the Pennsylvania Young Republican Richard M. Nixon Man of the Year in 2004. (As an aside, these folks give tons of awards -- or maybe the officers here are hogging all the awards. . . ) James has quite a square jaw there, and also a bit of a Charles Manson gleam in his eye. I'm thinking he's a candidate for service in Tikrit. Anyone agree? Encourage him to enlist by emailing at: jim@montcoyr.org

And then there's Avedis Boornazian, who looks far too much like an ARAB (gasp!) to be in this group. OK, maybe an Armenian. Likely he is a good Christian, don't you think? How else could he rise to the leadership position of Treasurer? His fiancee is Miss Sunnie Day Sanchez. Isn't that sweet? But she's likely a confirmed supporter of this war in Iraq, so she won't miss him. Heck, she might even work to raise money to get him some armor as he's patrolling the streets of Basra. Email him to encourage him to volunteer at avedis@montcoyr.org

The Corresponding Secretary is Dawn Delaney. She's a teacher in a local High School, but they need people who can teach in Iraq. Shoot, if she can control a High School classroom in Hatboro, surely she can control a riot of Shiites! Encourage her to enlist by writing to her at dawn@montcoyr.org.

George Gunning is the stud of the bunch. Evidently he's a fireman, or a fireman wannabe. Look at those steely eyes! And he's a Mason! Man, this guy could be the answer to all the problems in Iraq. He can help with infrastructure, being a fireman and all, and if he can crack the complex codes of the Scottish Rite Masons he's sure to be able to take apart an IED! Email him at george@montcoyr.org.

Jason Langheim is a student at Montgomery county Community college, but no worries! When he enlists in the war he supports he'll be able to get all kinds of tuition benefits. I'm a bit suspicious about this line in his bio, though: "He currently works for the Montgomery County Republican Committee under Adam Gattuso as Special Programs director." What KIND of "special projects?" Well, you know what they say, "don't ask, don't tell!" I recommend him, and you can, too: jason@montcoyr.org

Jim Veith was named "Best Oralist" at his Law School, but I suspect he's understood the error of his ways since then. He describes himself as slightly to the right of Rush Limbaugh, which speaks well of his eagerness to bring Democracy and sheer terror to the people of Iraq. Go to it, Jim Werth, and make sure to be polite when people email you here: jimv@montcoyr.org

Finally, that all-American girl Alexis Kropp has interned with Rick Santorum (R-VA), and doesn't even own one blue dress. She's a Philadelphia Eagles fan, and everyone knows I am one, too. So maybe I'll try to recruit her at a game. Football fans make great sentries, or so I'm told. Email and encourage Alexis at alexis@montcoyr.org.

I'm proud to introduce you all to this fine group of new recruits.

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7 Comments:

At 25 August, 2005 19:10, Blogger Jamie said...

A find lot they are. I think they would look good scowering the sands of Iraq in their camouflage while fighting for their war. Sign them up!

Jamie
http://intoxination.blogspot.com

 
At 25 August, 2005 21:56, Blogger The Kenosha Kid said...

I swear I didn't photoshop that picture of James C. Saring.

 
At 26 August, 2005 08:12, Blogger Timothy J said...

James has quite a square jaw there

James has a big old forehead as well. That is billboard material.

Jason Langheim is a student at Montgomery county Community college

Ouch, no fancy board positions for this guy. Hell, most of the big wigs wouldn't let a community college graduate caddie for them. Good to see he is sucking up to them.

 
At 26 August, 2005 09:34, Blogger SpinDentist said...

Kenosha, James needs no photoshopping. He's likely proud of that Neandrathal noggin.

 
At 30 August, 2005 12:07, Blogger Ryan said...

Air Force Republican said: "Please tell me exactly what you have done for the war effort so far. It is my hope that since you are so quick to criticize, you are writing from a forward command base deep within the Iraqi territory."

You miss the point. Pro-peace people do not support the war. Pro-war people do support the war. Thus, pro-war people are more responsible for the deaths of soldiers and civilians in Iraq. They are also more responsible for the outcome. They defend the merits of the Iraq war and try to prove its noble cause.

Because of the recruiting shortfalls, more people are needed - which is why Young Republicans, those staunch pro-war conservatives, should be signing up by the droves to support American & Iraqi freedom by patrolling Fallujah.

Cookies and care packages are nice, don't get me wrong, but what's really going to help are an extra 100,000 or so YRs helping the war effort by joining up and shipping out.

 
At 31 August, 2005 14:27, Blogger ohio06win said...

If you support something, that means you are willing to risk it all to promote it. Actions speak louder than words, therefore, enlist! I can't enlist because I am almost 60.

 
At 18 May, 2006 08:11, Blogger Erin Moore said...

You've got your pictures mixed up -Jim Veith and Jason Langheim - might want to fix that so that you can sling mud at the correct faces.

 

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