Mouth Strong, Body Weak
Unable to find Senators and Congressmen to harass, Jason Mattera took his act to a Washington DC park to bait some homeless people. Operation Yellow Elephant had little use for the below video until the 1:58 mark when Mr. Mattera attempted to do pushups.OYE Comment: Jason, this is a piss-poor stab at performing an elementary exercise. We here at OYE doubt you have the strength and stamina to be able to perform intercourse in the missionary position. Again we would like to encourage you to reach out for help to a number of folks who can assist you become stronger and add credibility to your thin resumé.
posted by Wek @ 11/23/2008 05:57:00 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Let me assuage your doubts about his strength and stamina. I can personally attest to both... and his big one.
Missed you guys at CRNC in Vegas! WTF?
SG123- "SG" as in "single guy"?
Leigh- Sorry dude, I don't make much money living in my parent's basement. "Hey Mom throw me down a big of chips".....(munch, munch)...You should have let me know you were going....(munch, munch)...so I could have hooked you up with an OYE t-shirt.
SG- one more thing: not that I should be one to correct grammar, but it looks as though you spelled "sausage" wrong.
Um, can you still hook me up with a shirt? There's a bag of BBQ ruffles in it for you.
Leigh- I'll think about it. Although I'll expect you to do something like let the air out of the tires in cars belonging to Code Pink clowns or something along those lines.
Wek-
You're quite wrong on this one.
You're assuming that Jason Mattera can persuade a consenting adult female to welcome his romantic attentions, on a voluntary, non-compensated basis, that is.
I sincerely doubt it.
Those were not push-ups, Jason was sexually assaulting the side walk!
Dear Jason,
I understand you trepidation at entering the job market with the economy in what appears to be along and deep recession. Securing that first job out of college is a challenging experience. Even in a good economy landing that first real job can be tough. There will be lots of interviews followed by polite rejection letters. I went through the very same thing in the mid 80's when the economy was in the dump at that time.
Fear not, I'm sure that Mom and Dad being kind and understanding parents will let you have your old room back until you can land that first job.
But, do not despair. There is another employer out there that always has an opening for a young college educated man. While the entry wages are not what one may want. This employer off sets the lower-than-market wages with a benefits package that most employers cannot touch, and paid travel to points all over the globe.
This employer offers 30 days a year paid vacation, free job training or retraining should you chose to change fields, free health care, room and board. A retirement at 20 years of service, with guaranteed retirement payments for the rest of your life, and has a world wide health club system that is open 24/7.
Who is this employer you ask? Why, its the U.S. Army! Yes Jason, if you enlist or opt for Officer Candidate School. You can immediately begin earning $1,245.90 as an enlisted man or $2,555.70 a month as an officer. You will be paid the 1st and 15th of every month via direct deposit, and if you do not have a bank account, Uncle Sugar will set one up for you.
You do not have to have previous experience or training. Any minor brushes with the law can be over looked and a major brush isn't necessary a bar to service.
Cut and paste any one of these URL's into your browser to learn more details and opportunity that the five branches of the military offers. Make sure to leave a good contact phone number and a recruiter will get in contact with you with 24 hours.
http://www.marines.com
http://www.goarmy.com
http://www.navy.com
http://www.airforce.com
http://www.gocoastguard.com
Leigh,
Just curious- when was the CRNC in Vegas? Are you speaking of a couple of years ago?
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