Body - Pizza & Beer + Exercise = New Life

Army and Navy recruiters took one look at 330-pound Ulysses Milana and told him to forget about joining. "'You've got to lose weight,'" Milana remembers them saying. But Marine recruiters were willing to work with him as he began his weight-loss journey in December 2007. Now, 11 months later, Milana is 140 pounds lighter as he leaves Monday for Parris Island, S.C., to begin boot camp.

OYE Comment: We would like to congratulate Mr. Milana on demonstrating uncommon discipline and we wish him well on his journey of becoming a Marine. We also would like to thank the USMC for helping Ulysses adhere to his goals.

Okay porkchop-sucking, Jonah Goldberg, it's about time you learn to say the words "I'm full" and get your combat-avoiding ass in shape.