Friday, October 20, 2006

Wild Bill, Support Our Troops! Be A Man! Enlist!

Wild Bill-

We'd like to thank you for your strong support of President Bush and Victory in the Global War on Terrorism. But there's one more thing you can do, and you can take your pick from three options.

First, since you appear to be a healthy-enough heterosexual well under 42, why don't you Be A Man! Enlist! While we thank you for your prior service in the Navy, we understand that you did not complete your initial enlistment; now you have another opportunity. You'll have no problem inspiring your audience to join you in this effort. Why, with your support, our Army will make its entire FY-2007 recruiting quota of 80,000 by November 5!

Second, if this doesn't work out, the least you can do to Support President Bush is to show real Americans how great everything is going in Iraq - which the liberal media refuses to report - by going there yourself and reporting back home from outside the Green Zone. 'Sort of like a real Libertarian moving to Somalia.

That's right: You can show real Americans what real Iraqis, the ones who stood in line for hours to cast their ballots in free elections, really think of everything we've done for them. You can even show all up those State Department wussies by taking your own family to live in Iraq with you.

Third, you can support corporate welfare and free-market economics by working as a contractor in Iraq. OK, how 'bout it?

We're always pleased to publicize credible examples of the future leadership of our governing party. Please let us know how to support your efforts.

Thank you.

Background for OYE: We thank Mike for the following:

Did anyone here see the article in the Wall Street Journal about the blogger ("Wild Bill") who revealed the identity of the page who was being preyed upon by Foley?

The article said he believes the progress in the war is not being reported by the MSM. The writers actually did a good job of mocking him. They pointed out that he was a "stay at home dad" who faked his own suicide to get out of the Navy in the early 90's. Following his discharge from the Navy, he worked at a call center and installing car stereos and was fired from both jobs. He now broadcasts his own conservative talk show from his bedroom. The only thing that kept Wild Bill from looking like the absolute perfect loser was the WSJ's failure to note his Cheeto stained fingers.

Anyway, several people who read the article went over to this site and started piling on him about about his failure to go over to Iraq (he's 33). I suggested that since he's unemployed he could go over to Iraq and maybe even work as a contractor for $100,000/year (tax free no less - he seems to hate taxes so it's perfect for him) and he could broadcast his radio show from Iraq itself. No other conservative commentators have the guts to do it except for that DoD sponsored "truth tour" last year where they never set foot outside of the Green Zone or the largest bases.

He could talk to man-on-the-street Iraqis & I thought it would be a huge boost to his career but he seems to prefer fighting the Islamofascists from the comfort of his bedroom when he's home alone. None of his other readers were eager to actually fight their favorite war, either. I think they prefer fighting it from their bedrooms also. Presumably their bedrooms are well stocked with tissues for their leisurely R&R breaks away from battling Islamic evil on the web.

Needless to say, his critics were all banned from Wild Bill's crappy blog earlier after we roundly trashed his cowardly ass. He's upgrading his blog apparently though and I suggested some new names:

- The Lowest Common Denominator
- The Used and Lied to
- The Foot Soldier for the Corporate Jet Conservatives
- The Special Needs Brigade of the Conservative Revolution
- Authoritarian A**holes
- Commander Cheeto
- Big Talker
- Cut-and-Runners

I'd highly recommend people pay his website a visit and leave occasional comments. Don't expect an intelligent debate though. he's as dumb as they come.


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