Wednesday, October 26, 2005

It's what Dick would do

Dan Schuberth
Secretary, College Republican National Committee

Dear Mr. Schuberth,

It takes a lot of balls for an officer of the College Republican National Committee to attack a soldier heading off to war. When you did so, you opened yourself up to being assailed as a cowardly yellow elephant and a souless, political hack who selfishly places his partisan ambitions above all that is right and decent. Thank God you didn't let that stop you.

It's important for people to know that although Alex Cornell du Houx is honorably keeping the commitment he made to the Marine Reserves in high school, he is still a major player in the Maine College Democrats and a vocal opponent of Our Leader and the Iraq Phase of the Eternal War to Resubjugate Brown People. He doesn't deserve to face death in battle for the glory of Our Leader and his Administration of the Indicted. That honor should be reserved for people like you, able-bodied, albeit overweight, College Republicans who place the needs of the party ahead of national interest.

I was particularly impressed by your claim that this young Marine opposed his country by opposing the president. It demonstrates that you are capable of doing whatever it takes to destroy your political opponents. Just as such former College Republican greats as Scooter Libby and Karl Rove betrayed the identity of a CIA agent for political purposes, you accuse a Iraq-bound Marine of treason simply because he protests Our Leader's policies. Obviously, you have the right stuff to go far in today's Republican Party.

There is still more you can do. Join the Marines and follow du Houx to Iraq, and when an opportunity presents itself, betray him to the enemy. That's what Dick Cheney would do.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Note: Some of you may not have noticed that I always put a link to the addressee's email address in the salutations of these letters. It makes it easier for others to contact them if they wish.

A helmet tip to reader Sally.


At 26 October, 2005 11:06, Blogger merlallen said...

I bet that Yellow Elephant thinks Michael Moore is fat.

At 26 October, 2005 13:51, Blogger evan-genital said...

he needs to get his fat ass in the military and serve the "noble cause" in iraq. let the pudgy patriot and his other fellow republicans sign up for iraq. their enlistments could bring home the thousands of national guard
troops that have been shanghaied by the assholes in d.c.
glory, glory holey lube-job!!!

At 26 October, 2005 14:32, Blogger shaddapalready said...

this is kind of off-topic, but is there somewhere I could go and pick up a buttload of army recruiting brochures, so as I wander thru parking lots I could put the brochures on cars with "W-04" stickers on the bumper.
I'd like to just be able to pick them up, and not have to sit thru some kind of hard sell, army style.
how feasible is that?

At 26 October, 2005 14:39, Blogger Karl said...


I think I know why the Army missed its recruiting quota.

I just turned 39, the new maximum age to enlist in the Army Reserve, and was inspired by The General to contact a recruiter, or at least try to.

So I went to and entered my info. And guess what happened?

I get a letter saying that the Army's maximum age is 34. [Like, couldn't they have passed the lead to the Army Reserve? Am I missing something?]

I guess only dedicated Republicans with a strong tolerance for idiocy (well, they ARE Republicans) need apply.

At 27 October, 2005 00:51, Blogger Warrington said...

Shaddapalready -

Great idea. I know my hometown Army recruiter's office has a stand or two of brochures in their building's hallway. Perhaps there is a similarly easily accessible pile of materials at your recruiter's station.

At 27 October, 2005 23:30, Blogger PlacitasRoy said...

Mr. Schuberth - As a Viet-nam era vet, US Navy, West-Pac 67-68, I read with interest your comments in the Times Record about Mr. Houx. I was lied into that war and this generation has been lied into this one, but this one is different because the facts were out there for all to see if they just looked.

How can you find it troubling that a person who swears an oath feels duty bound to fulfill that oath? And contrary to your statement, finally the people are becoming aware and Mr. Houx's position is the majority, not just the sound-bite [inferred] epithet "radical fringes of the Democratic Party."

Would you council him to disregard that oath and go AWOL? I realize that is what the current commander-in chief did when he was an impetuous young man. That drugs sex, and rock 'n roll will do that to you.
While you may "question his logic and motivation", I have to question your intellectual honesty, courage and patriotism. It would be much more congruent to either sign up or shut up.

There is no war on terror, and only a fool would think that there could ever be one. There's just a war on the great and honorable traditions and honor of this country. There's imperialistic expansion to protect the oil fields, steal from the treasury, and shrink government so it can be drowned in a bath-tub (which is much smaller than New Orleans.)

Mr. Houx is not defending his, my, or your country. He is protecting his comrades-in-arms as he does his duty, follows orders even while the mission in Iraq puts our country in much greater peril.

I salute Mr. Houx's courage - the courage to stand up for his country. It takes true courage to speak out against the immorality, incompetence, and dishonesty of this administration.

Since you mention "our mission", would you be good enough to define it for me. Nobody else has been able to.

And I'd like to ask the simple question. Why, if you feel so strongly that this cause is just and the country is in peril you have not enlisted? Are you afraid you can't hack it? Too many drugs? Are you just the typical chickenhawk? Or do you know deep down that you are being conned?

At 28 October, 2005 12:22, Blogger Jez said...

Great stuff. I'll be linking to my site. Just one question: what's the 'heterosexually yours' in reference to?

At 28 October, 2005 18:15, Blogger Kyle said...

Get that kid out of my town. I like seeing Brunswick in the news, but still.

At 30 October, 2005 04:14, Blogger Gen. JC Christian, Patriot said...

I sign all my letters "Heterosexually yours" because it's important to me that people know that I'm not a homosexual--Col. Cletis is a god damned liar.

It might make more sense to you if you read my main blog, Jesus' General.

At 30 October, 2005 06:42, Blogger Karl said...


One more thought: Your post above is most definitely on-topic: OYE supports military recruiting.

We are focusing on Our President's strongest supporters because the American People have selected them as our national leaders to set a good example for the rest of us.

At 30 October, 2005 07:25, Blogger Jez said...

Ok, I get it!


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