Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Calling all Yeller Elerfants!

The DoD may be asking Congress to raise the maximum age for enlistment! Just what the keyboard commandos and I-was/am-too-old Chickenhawks need to put a little steel in their spines! Now it's not just the Young Republicans who can show their mettle by enlisting but so can those like Mr. Doughy Pantload himself, Jonah Goldberg. Soon the excuse of being "too old" will not longer be operative! Beloved Leader will be able to pass on orders for his war straight to the men who want it most as they carry a weapon for the cause, because they don't want to be missing out on those "Last Throes" or anything.
The Defense Department quietly asked Congress on Monday to raise the maximum age for military recruits to 42 for all branches of the service.
The administration also asked for an Army-only test of a $1,000 referral bonus that would be paid to current soldiers if they get someone to enter the Army and make it through basic and advanced training. Now, the Pentagon wants that payment to be $2,500.
Woo-Hoo! Jonah, don't delay! Nathan Taylor, they're waiting for you! Now some of those other "Young Republicans" who seem to be "Young" to the age of better than 35 can look at throwing their support and bodies toward enlisting and serving. After all, they voted for they have their chance to serve, where it might not have existed before.


At 20 July, 2005 18:07, Blogger burnplant said...

That's great news for OYE and the Military.

In order to be a "Young" republican, you must be between the ages of 18 and 40.

That means all YR's are now eligable.

Open the floodgates, here they come.

At 21 July, 2005 13:37, Anonymous Ilex opaca said...

General if I may point out....

....that "old" Yellow Elephants DO NOT have to wait to serve.
They can go straight to the front pretty darn quick right now.

The Army National Guard is already to take anyone up to 39 years and 364 days old.

"Experience has shown that older recruits who can meet the physical demands of military service generally make excellent soldiers based on their maturity, motivation, loyalty and patriotism," the Army said.

Sure sounds like they are describing all those older Yellow Elephants to me. Well...except for the motivation part.... and the loyalty part.... and the patriotism part. OK, so they are describing how YEs are older. I have confidence that once those older Yellow Elephants get through boot camp they will have motivation, develop loyalty to our country and understand what true patriotism is about.

Hmmm I think they left other equally important qualities out, and the lack of these other qualities in YEs seem to be preventing quite a few YEs, young and old, from fully supporting their war pResident. These important qualities are duty, honor and commitment. The three main qualities of today's warfighter are sorely lacking in YEs. We must work harder to get these Yellow Elephants into boot camp, where they can develop a sense of honor, understand duty/service to one's nation and fellows in arms, and make a commitment to protecting the United States of America, paying the highest price if necessary, as over 1700 have already done.

Sincerely yours and 110% hetero female,

Ilex Opaca

At 21 July, 2005 19:07, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that 44 year old pussy still cant sign up

At 22 July, 2005 04:50, Blogger Karl said...


You're right!

I'm that 44-year-old "pussy" that still can't sign up.

How about you?


At 22 July, 2005 16:30, Blogger BadTux said...

The problem with this is that it doesn't go far enough. I have a better proposal, absolutely guaranteed to work, that I proposed several months ago when the crisis became obvious: raise the maximum age to 75 and require anybody between ages 61 and 75 to join the Army in order to get Social Security!

The enemy will die (laughing) at the very sight of our new legions as they shuffle into battle in the uniform of the 101st Fighting Geriatrics -- bathrobes and fuzzy slippers. But hey, a M-16 doesn't care how old the person pulling the trigger is! Oh sure, old eyes aren't as sharp as young ones, but look, modern scope technology helps a lot with that. And sure, old fingers are trembly and might spew bullets all over the place at inopportune times, but given the number of "collateral damage" deaths in Iraq at the hands of our troops, it appears young fingers aren't any better.

Walkers and hearing aids will be provided to our brave new fighting forces as extra incentive! So who needs Young Republicans anyhow? Let's draft the old farts now!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

At 22 July, 2005 22:21, Anonymous Sue said...

why are you 44 and can't sign up why were you a pussy in your earlier life and didn't sign up?

At 22 July, 2005 22:21, Anonymous sue said...

shutup about social security social security is just fine we just need to raise taxes on the superwealthy and it will all be fine it is a fake crisis FAKE

At 25 July, 2005 15:03, Anonymous Anonymous said...



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