Saturday, July 09, 2005

Army makes its June recruiting goal... sort of.


In other news, I've achieved my goal of dunking a basketball by playing over on the 8' rim at the local grade school.

So last month the Army had missed its recruiting goal by 25%, and that was only after revising their goal downward from 8,050 to 6,700. Well, if at first you don't succeed... aim lower!
(New York Times) Gen. Richard B. Myers, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told a public forum at the Pentagon on Wednesday that the Army exceeded its June goal, but he gave no details. Senior Army officials said in interviews earlier in the day that the Army exceeded the quota of 5,650 recruits by about 500 people. The Army Reserve also made its first monthly goal since last December, the officials said.
Hmm, so you mean you got about 6,150 people for June, which is about 550 short of your previously-reduced May goal, but now exceeds your further-reduced June goal. Or to put it another way, you did get about 1,000 more recruits than you did in May, here at the beginning of the peak recruiting season as high school kids end their term.

Here's an idea; why not just lower the recruiting goal to two people: the Bush twins. Then when you get 5,000 recruits, you can say you beat your goal by 2,500%
That still leaves the active-duty Army about 7,800 recruits behind schedule to send 80,000 enlistees to boot camp with only three months to go in the recruiting year that ends on Sept. 30. The Army has not missed its annual enlistment quota since 1999, when a strong economy made recruiters' lives miserable.
To address this shortfall, the Army is lobbying President Bush to mandate an extra twenty days each for the months of July, August, and September. The recruiting year will end September 50th, leaving us the remaining 32 days of the renamed month of Octnodecember to celebrate.
Army officials publicly insist that they can still reach their annual goal, especially with hundreds of new recruiters on the street for the peak summer recruiting month, armed with big enlistment bonuses and greater leeway to recruit more high-school dropouts and lower-achieving applicants.
"Hey, look sergeant! There's plenty more recruits over here in the bottom of this barrel!"

Anybody else feel a draft? Well, I'm not quite as sure. A draft would be political suicide; I don't see many senators or representatives cozying up to the idea (aside from Rep. Charles Rangel's bluff). My theory is that the maladministration will combine their two favorite Wars on Nouns (drugs and terror) and start offering to plea bargain mandatory drug sentences in exchange for military service.

9 Comments:

At 10 July, 2005 00:18, Blogger pansauce said...

Why do I not find it surprising that in June, the month when High School Seniors graduate, there was a slight uptick in recruitment?

If they want to impress me those numbers need to keep growing once summer is over.

 
At 10 July, 2005 08:06, Blogger Carl said...

Something scary about the Army needing an easier target so it could hit it...

 
At 10 July, 2005 08:07, Blogger Carl said...

Altho I confess, the idea of sending criminals over to fight the war in exchange or reduced sentences appeals to me. After all, the war itself is a crime...

 
At 10 July, 2005 12:08, Anonymous Jo Fish said...

You said: "start offering to plea bargain mandatory drug sentences in exchange for military service"

It might sound funny in a fatalistic sort of way, but having once had to deal with these folks (sailors given the choice of jail or enlisting) as a division officer at sea, you have no idea what a bad idea that really is. Bad to the point of being frightnening.

I shudder to think how it will be if those bad days come again...anti-social young folks, given rudimentary training, an automatic weapon, sent off kill legally and then brought home and dumped on the streets with no further support and a VA that's all but hung up the "Going out of business" sign.

O Joy! O Gladness! Once again, the 1600 Crew does America.

 
At 10 July, 2005 13:10, Blogger "Radical" Russ said...

Carl - I'd disagree, in the sense that the "crime" many drug "criminals" are convicted of is simple possession. 800,000 people are arrested each year for marijuana "offenses". My point was (and addresses Jo Fish's concern) is that these potheads would make a very attractive recruiting pool. Unlike the past criminals -- convicted of assault, robbery, and the like -- who were given the choice between Army and jail, the average pot smoker would be an attractive recruit. They tend to be better educated, higher income, employed contributing members of society.

But, to agree with Jo Fish, it truly is a bad idea. Conscription by any name is a bad idea. If you cannot raise an all-volunteer army to fight your war, it indicates that your cause is not just. During WWII, men lied about their age and infirmity to join the military and recruiting offices were overflowing.

 
At 10 July, 2005 15:14, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like someone isn't having a problem recruiting college students:

AL-QAEDA is secretly recruiting affluent, middle-class Muslims in British universities and colleges to carry out terrorist attacks...
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1688261,00.html

What do they have that our Glorious Leader doesn't?

 
At 10 July, 2005 18:15, Anonymous Anonymous said...

bad recruitment is great news, it spells an end to fascist imperialist wars

 
At 11 July, 2005 22:18, Anonymous sue said...

virgins

 
At 15 July, 2005 17:05, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ENLIST YOU PUSSIES AND THEN JUST DONT FIGHT IT IS A BIRD IN HAND IS BETTER THAN TWO IN THE BUSH

 

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