Patriotic Parody: Marshall University College Republicans Shoot Squirt Guns while President Bush Surges in Iraq

While President Bush is "plussing up" our troops in Iraq, and the Global War on Terrorism continues in Afghanistan and elsewhere, the Marshall University (WV) College Republicans "plan for a semester filled with guns, fun and giving the democrats a run for their money." Seriously. Money quotes:

Guns, fun fill College Republicans' agenda

Arrangements are already underway for a "Fun with Guns" squirt-gun tournament in March. At this event, tentatively planned for Buskirk Field, students will be invited to engage in a water war against one another, with possible prizes for tournament winners.

"Basically it is a way of saying it's OK to own handguns," Lauren Myers, College Republican president, said.

Details and a specific date are still unspecified for the event.

The College Republicans will travel to Washington, D.C., March 1 to 3 to attend the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. Speakers invited to the conference include Vice President Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Sen. Mitch McConnell, Sean Hannity and Newt Gingrich. According to the CPAC Web site, the conference will feature book signings by the nation's leading conservative authors, live broadcasts of national and local radio talk shows and hands-on training sessions.

Cheryl Brown, director of graduate studies for the political science department, said CPAC is an event she supports."It's an opportunity for students to network with students from other universities and professionals in the field," she said. "The guest speakers who participate in CPAC are extraordinary, and the training-sessions offered for club leaders are excellent."

There will be an Animal Rights Barbecue open to College Republican members and their guests in May. This roasting will take the place of the annual end-of-the-year picnic, which is usually on the agenda.

Andrew Dockery, MUCR treasurer, said he thinks the idea of the barbecue is a positive change for the group.

"It's a different take on what we do every year," he said. "But it also shows the campus that we aren't just another boring political group. We actually have a sense of humor."

One expected event that will not take place this semester is the debate between the College Republicans and the Cabell County Young Democrats. Brown said the Young Democrats have yet to contact the MUCRs about a debate, and she hopes the republicans can focus their energies on other events planned for the semester.

"I don't think a debate is necessary at this point," said Myers. "During election years, I think it is very necessary."

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Wow! We certainly agree with Mr. Dockery that the MUCRs have a sense of humor. After all, with success in Iraq hanging in the balance, the best they can do is squirt water pistols at each other. At least the George Washington University CRs are trying to show that they care.

OK, MUCRs, why don't you Be A Man! Enlist!?