Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Most Influential Yellow Elephant

The Daily Telegraph, "Britain's No. 1 quality newspaper website", published a list of who they believe to be the 100 most influential US conservatives. After sifting through 5 web pages of bad comb-overs, double chins, mostly white pundits and politicians, we were dismayed to find only one of our 'subjects' had made the compilation. Fred Kagan (pictured above with a pot roast in his mouth) was listed at #37.

His profile reads as follows: A military historian and leading light at the American Enterprise Institute, Kagan was the principal force behind the study that led to the “surge” policy being adopted by George W. Bush. Soon dubbed the "real Iraq Study Group" report, it was a "awkish rival to the official ISG report of James Baker and Lee Hamilton that was shelved by the Bush administration. A former West Point lecturer, he is married to fellow defence academic Kimberly Kagan and is the brother of Robert Kagan, an accomplished military writer and foreign policy strategist. Both brothers are closely associated with the neo-conservative school of thought.

OYE Comment: Believe it or not, Kagan is still of age to wear The Uniform. Instead of serving, this vegetable-oil-sweating-swine, that wouldn't know the difference between a handgun and a howitzer, somehow has Our President's ear on war policy. Frederick Kagan, the 'man' that would probably park in a handicapped spot to not have to expend a calorie more than necessary, was tasked with creating something as important as to decide how many and how long Our Servicemen stay in Iraq. A reasonable person would know that an 18 year old who earned his Combat Infantryman Badge understands more about war than Kagan can ever fit inside his beach ball sized head with books. Although it's not too late for Kagan to serve, we all know it will not happen. He, like his cowardly brother, Robert, will 'fight' from afar until their imminent poor health prevents them.

H/T to Glenn Greenwald


At 06 November, 2007 21:39, Blogger Karl said...

Well, at least we can use Dr. Kagan as a poster boy for the childhood obesity epidemic that is harming our national security by making American youth [the heterosexuals, that is] ineligible to Be A Man! Enlist!

To think that Dr. Kagan made it as high as #37 on a list of influential American conservatives: Surely the College and Young Republicans can join us in encouraging Fred Kagan to grow a pair in the right place.

At 06 November, 2007 23:05, Blogger robash141 said...

This guy is a chancre on the dick of society.
Professor Chancre that's what we should call him.

At 07 November, 2007 00:40, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minute, what do you mean by "only one of our 'subjects' had made the compilation" ? Does that mean he's the only one with military experience (which isn't true, General Patraeus is #2 and John McCain at #9)? Does that mean he's only chickenhawk on the list (also not true, considering Mitt Romney is #10)? Or is he the only one eligible to serve, but wont (once again, not true since Michelle Malkin is 37 years of age and ranked #93)? Can you clarify this for me?

Also, don't you think it's a bit immature to attack his weight? Yellow Elephant or no, that's a low blow.

At 07 November, 2007 09:23, Blogger OYE said...

anonymous (07 November, 2007 00:40)-

We focus exclusively on those eligible to serve [healthy heterosexuals 41-or-under] who support the war, provided that "other people" actually fight it. Mitt Romney is too old, so he's off our scope.

Our most active contributors focus almost exclusively on males, both due to male Republicans' macho rhetoric, and based on personal choices and standards. Hence, we have not "Asked The Question" of Mrs. Malkin.

Also, don't you think it's a bit immature to attack his weight? Yellow Elephant or no, that's a low blow.

You may have a point here. However, we did send multiple polite e-mails to him at his office e-mail address, politely Asking The Question, and he never responded, not even simply to decline comment.

For non-veteran civilians, physical fitness, or, at least, lack of physical unfitness, is essential in establishing credibility with a military audience. Q.E.D.

At 07 November, 2007 12:03, Blogger Icarus said...

Most if not all of the members of the neoconservative movement have never served in uniform. If they had, then they would know that wars are not so easy.

At 07 November, 2007 14:22, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fair enough, OYE, but if you don't feel it necessary to "ask the question" to Mrs. Malkin, why do you often "ask the question" of the Bush twins, specifically Jenna? Is it because they're the President's daughters, or they're younger, or some other reason?

I also find it a little unfair to call on ALL all healthy heterosexuals 41 and younger. While it is true that nothing should stop Mitt Romney's sons from signing up, I've also seen plenty of war supporters who are obviously not cut out for something like fighting a war. The military is an environment that very few people can adjust to, and if someone simply can not handle it, I won't harbor any ill feelings toward them.

I'm not trying to be dick or anything, I'm just trying to figure out what exactly qualifies someone as a "Yellow Elephant."

Also, you call on all healthy heterosexuals 41 and younger to "Be A Man! Enlist!" Let's say they decided to "Be A Man! Get Commissioned!" instead? Does that still count?

At 07 November, 2007 15:11, Blogger OYE said...

anonymous (07 November, 2007 14:22)-

Please make up a blog name for yourself so we can do some dialogue on a separate posting in response to your comments above. Just let us know here. Thanks.

PS. See OYE 101 etc. in the upper right-hand corner for some specifics.

At 07 November, 2007 16:03, Blogger Robert Hamer said...

Okay, done.


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